Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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