I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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