just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize