So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
