i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
