He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
