Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
