We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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