Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
