I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My ass is underappreciated
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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