my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
