"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
