I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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