and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
did i walk over a car last night?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
What drink are we having for lunch?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
