come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
