I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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