I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
