Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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