A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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