Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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