i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
