Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Houston, we have a squirter
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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