Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
