But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
