I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
