Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
