Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
