Betty ford says i'm here all night
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
