Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
