i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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