Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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