I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
there was a trapeze. enough said
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
