So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Acid is not a monday night drug
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
