oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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