so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
