If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
