just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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