I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
