Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
