Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
