Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
