i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
