DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
