So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
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