Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦â€â™€ï¸
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