he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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