some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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