Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
