So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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