haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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