he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
