Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize