found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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