So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize