i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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