she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
