I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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