In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
