My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
