I heard we made out
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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