I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
