How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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